Show Don't Tell
Make your writing an experience, not a sentence.
Telling: The living room is a mess.
Showing: Heaps of dirty laundry and lonely toys covered the dinge carpet. On the coffee table, sat a pizza box with two slices of cold crusty pepperoni pizza attracting a hungry fly. The cushions on the couch were jumbled and crooked like teeth. Beside the fireplace, a box overflowed with old magazines and newspapers.
Telling: Aunt Edna is a nice person.
Showing: Aunt Edna takes a 30 minute bus ride every Saturday at 8:00 am to the Windy Shores food bank. She spends the morning packing brown paper sacks with bottles and cans of food for the folks around town. In the afternoon, she hands the food out, with an ever-present smile. Sometimes she even brings a hand knitted blanket for the children. Her hands ache on the bus ride home, but her heart is full.
Telling: That man is angry.
Showing: He balled his hands up into tight little fists and started rapidly pacing the floor. His mouth worked furiously as he tried to find the words to respond. Back and forth his feet pounded. Finally his mouth opened, and bellowed words escaped, “You are lying!” With those words finally out, his face turned from pink to deep red and his muscles tensed.
Showing: Heaps of dirty laundry and lonely toys covered the dinge carpet. On the coffee table, sat a pizza box with two slices of cold crusty pepperoni pizza attracting a hungry fly. The cushions on the couch were jumbled and crooked like teeth. Beside the fireplace, a box overflowed with old magazines and newspapers.
Telling: Aunt Edna is a nice person.
Showing: Aunt Edna takes a 30 minute bus ride every Saturday at 8:00 am to the Windy Shores food bank. She spends the morning packing brown paper sacks with bottles and cans of food for the folks around town. In the afternoon, she hands the food out, with an ever-present smile. Sometimes she even brings a hand knitted blanket for the children. Her hands ache on the bus ride home, but her heart is full.
Telling: That man is angry.
Showing: He balled his hands up into tight little fists and started rapidly pacing the floor. His mouth worked furiously as he tried to find the words to respond. Back and forth his feet pounded. Finally his mouth opened, and bellowed words escaped, “You are lying!” With those words finally out, his face turned from pink to deep red and his muscles tensed.